Smile.

If she put on nice clothes, took time in the morning to apply a little makeup and made sure her hair dried nicely she forgot what she actually looked like and felt pretty, just for a while. Just until she stepped out the door.

If she went to every class and didn't fall asleep once, if she took notes like everyone else and carried a textbook in her bag, she felt like she was doing well, just for a while. Just until she looked at the take-home questions and realized that she didn't understand a thing.

If she said hello to somebody, and exchanged a brief word or a question, she felt like she belonged. Just for a while. Just until she walked away and remembered that it was never really the same people twice.

If she spoke with him, laughed with him, listened to things he had to say, she felt like things were going okay, just for a while. Just until he waved and said "see you next week", which was when she knew that everything she thought was good didn't mean anything at all.

And if she smiled. If she smiled at home, outside, at a store, in classes, it made her believe she was happy, just for a while. Just until the shadows started growing longer and there was no more running around to be done. Just until she realized that a smile was as adequate a disguise as anything else in the world, for both her and anyone else who was around to see it. And so she smiles. Just for a while. Just until there's no one around left to convince except herself.