Dear Professor.

Hi Professor (Insert name),

I am joyfully emailing to let you know that I am dropping the unit of study (INSERT UNIT OF STUDY), effective immediately. And for your information, despite efforts to disguise it, having a semi-severe overbite as a byproduct of a cleft palate DOES affect how you speak, hence why I struggled to complete the task you set us and made us perform individually during this week's tutorial. It was unbelievably offensive and humiliating when you informed me that you "don't think that that has any effect" on my ability to produce particular sounds, as it is painfully obvious that you yourself do not suffer from any physical irregularities that might inhibit or otherwise affect your speaking ability. Therefore, I strongly suggest not to make statements relating to such matters unless you are actually able to empathize, lest you appear an ignorant fuckhead as you did this week. I, like others with the same issue I am sure, have found alternate ways of producing certain vowels and consonants that deviate from convention; naturally, as mentioned earlier, this does mean that certain limitations are present, and at times it is not so easy. So please, keep your inconsiderate comments to yourself, and realize that you are not in fact an expert on everything to do with phonetics and speech production and life in general.

I noticed the facial expressions of several other students whom you singled out and shamed. I'd advise you to tone it down a little, as such criticism over something stupid like the task you set leads to nothing but resentment. Also, I find it disgusting that you opt to choose favorites; we are being educated at a university level here. Get the fuck over yourself.

Regards,
-Sarah


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^And that is how my email would have looked if I wanted to get a written warning and probably a meeting with somebody important with the potential to do something bad to my uni education.