To Korea and Beyond [but not really]

But first... in regards to previous post... guess who I didn't see today? And this is why you don't rely on guys to do jackshit. Guess this is a sign that I should stop looking and let whatever happens happen. Que sera sera.

Anyways.. heading to Korea tomorrow. Off to see what I've been missing these past 19 years. Off to see the sights and experience the culture. Off to have my self esteem massacred by all the girls who wear size 6 clothes or smaller, have perfect skin, big [and perhaps artificially enhanced... hmm.. maybe no jealousy there then...] eyes and pretty hair >_<" Although at the same time I'm a little glad that I won't blend in... yay nonconformity. Ah well. I guess people can judge if they feel so inclined... I'll never see their sorry asses again anyways.


I'm excited for the snow! I can't wait to go skiing for a couple days... hopefully it'll tide me over until ski season rolls around again in Australia. Wahahahahahaha :D

Sooo I should go sleep now... have to wake up at 5.30 tomorrow... gah =.=

Much love <3

Things I'll Never Say

Please. If you could stay true to your word this one time, it'd make me happy. But I guess it won't come as a surprise if you don't. Still... I'd like it if you made an appearance.

But either way...

Gracias por los buenos tiempos. Te voy a extrañar.

...

-- Who do you have, really? Who do you turn to? Who's going to be there with you until the very end? Who honestly has your back? If even one person springs to mind, consider yourself blessed. 

-- As an outsider, judging is easy. Yet if someday, somehow you become everything you never wanted, can you ever take a step back from yourself and evaluate truthfully? For things that we would so regularly look upon with disdain in others, how often do we excuse ourselves for the same acts? Self-bias is a blinding thing... 

-- If forgiveness is divine, then why can it be so difficult to apologize?

-- A lie that makes you happy or the truth that hurts? Does the feeling that follows the uncovering of a lie ever fluctuate based upon the motive of the teller? Does the manner of delivery of the truth ever have an effect on the appreciation of honesty?

-- What are you supposed to do when silence fails to speak volumes after your words abandon you? Sit in silence, watch the world go by and hope that before it is too late, you understand what you wanted to say.  

-- Morning always comes again. Therefore, there's no use surrendering to shadows when there is something out there to bring you back to the light. There is always something out there to live for. You just have to find it. 

Happy Is What Happens, When All Your Dreams Come True..*

Wendywendy, Wendy, Vicky, Mingoog, Amanda, Angie and I saw Wicked at Capitol theatre last night. It was just as fantastic as I remembered. I'm not entirely sure how a musical can get me on such a high, but hey. Who needs drugs when you've got costumes, lights, an awesome plot complete with romance, drama and tragedy, a full pit orchestra, and depressingly talented, amazing vocalists, all rolled into one? No drugs for me, thank you. But seriously, as soon as the first notes of "No one mourns the Wicked" started, I was all but bouncing in my seat with excitement 8D  

I think that the second time you go is almost better than the first time, in the sense that when the songs you know and love start playing, you're all like "OH MY GOD IT'S THAT SONG IT'S THAT SONG", and you want to reach over and tap the person next to you and tell them that it's "that song", and inform them how much you love it. I tried really, really hard to suppress my ridiculous excitement, and I think I did pretty well. But I couldn't help but poke Vicky once in the middle of Defying Gravity; it's one of my absolute favorites xD Not to mention that I fell in love with Amanda Harrison and her voice when we were in Melbourne. 

And of course, there was the kid sitting behind me, who kept making incredulous noises when Amanda and Rob kissed onstage... like the kid in the cinema when we went to see Twilight, only this kid didn't scream "IT'S PORN" at even the smallest whiff of romance. And the man who kept making these statements as though he was the most intelligent being in the world, just because he picked up on the Wizard of Oz references. Yeah dude, you're a genius. 

Oh, and we finally got our green drinks. Sweet victory. 

I'll definitely go see it again. Maybe... a couple matinees, cos apparently the standby cast sometimes do matinees, and I'd like to see them for variety and comparison... and a couple more shows at night ^^ There go my paychecks, but whatever. This production of Wicked is not gonna be around forever. Ways of making money however, are. Fair trade, methinks. 

Much love. 

La vida esta bien.

It only takes...

One experience to make or break you.
One smile to brighten a day.
One conversation to make you feel wanted.
One hug to make you feel loved.
One person to make a difference

:)

Yeah... I've had another epiphany. For some reason, the word 'epiphany' always reminds me of Ordell... I think it was because she stumbled into English one day, announced "Girls, I've had an epiphany", and then proceeded to talk about nothing in particular. Anyway. I was thinking today [yes, thinking], and I realized that I complain a lot about being alone/being lonely/woe is me/disgusting self-pitying bullshit. But then I also realized that it'd be much, much, much worse if I literally didn't have a single person to send messages to, get messages from, talk to, call up, meet with, say hi to, go to cruises with [<3] or sit in lectures with. So I think I'll stop complaining about that now. 

For those of you who are frequently surrounded by people, don't take it for granted, 'kay? Cos.. I dunno. I mean today, the things that made me happiest were seeing Vicky at Wentworth, walking down Eastern Ave with Harry Potter guy and having him smile at me and say 'bye' when we went seperate ways, and being there with Kuan for Chris on his graduation day/night and feeling like he was genuinely glad that we turned up. It might seem realllly sad to some people, but... oh well ^^ That's me :)

So basically, thanks for all the small things as well as the big things:) That's what that all comes down to without me getting all soppy and gross.

Much love.

Ranting Condensed.

Instead of ranting, I thought I'd condense the things I have to rant about into a few simple dot points. I'm in more of a dot-pointy mood. 

1) I've been single for too long. It sucks. Surely I can't be that much worse than Aroni T_T

2) I ate my body weight in food yesterday. Not a good idea. Felt fat and gross, but kept eating anyways==  Still not entirely sure why I did it.

3) I do not have enough hours in my life to do all my uni work. I'd have to give up something else, like say... sleeping >_>

4) It'd be nice to have somebody. 

5) Arts can be a lonely degree sometimes. 

6) Almond and Cherry sour cocktails are yummm :9   *craves*

That's it. Short and sweet ^^ I should go to sleep now... work tomorrow. *shudder*.  At least I don't have to work with my boss :)   

Much love.  

holidays and revelations.

We're finally on holidays. It's a pretty good feeling. No uni work, no especially tedious obligations... just fun, free time and potential money-making opportunities. There's not much else I can say about holidays, really, since they only started recently. But Jiangu's back from Canberra for a while, which is good ^^

So that was the 'holidays' part of the post. Now comes the second [longer] part. Hem. 

I've turned into a megabitch. I don't know when or how it happened, but the other day I realized that I say mean things, for which I have no form of justification. It's not like I even have to TRY to be horrible; I just say the wrong thing ALL the time. And it sucks, because one, I don't know why I do it, and two, the words slip out of my mouth and by the time I realize that it was a mean thing to say, it's too late to take them back. So I'm going to try to think longer before I actually open my mouth to speak. Maybe my people skills are getting even rustier or something, and I'm forgetting how to be nice. I should probably figure out where I went wrong and fix it, unless I want to die alone and unloved. Which I don't. Obviously. [People say "die alone in a hole" all the time, but I changed it, seeing as the "in a hole" bit, although it has a nice ring to it, doesn't make a lot of sense. Just saying.]

Also, upon further self examination, I think I'm too suspicious and critical of people I don't know. Which I should ALSO get over, unless I want to die alone and blah blah blah, except I'm not exactly sure how to go about it >_>  So yeah... I've figured out why I can't make friends at uni. Now I just have to find a way to get over myself and make better habits. Easier said than done. 

Just for the record, I don't dedicate time to sitting around in a room by myself examining the inner workings of my mind and soul xD  Things happen, and sometimes something'll click, and I'll be like "Oh. *take mental note*. That might be why __[insert something here___]". Just incase you all start thinking I'm a complete freak O.o

Anyways. I tried to go for a run earlier, but I got about a quarter of the way around the park before I realized that it was getting really dark really fast. And being in Centennial Park alone at night isn't the best thing ever. So as a result, I got home early, and my parents are still at the gym. So I'll go and make an attempt to be the dutiful daughter, and do dinner preparation whatnot. 

Much love. 

Death in the form of a take home exam.

I HATE SOCIOLOGY. IT'S A FUCKING PLAGUE. No, actually, it's worse than a plague. What's worse than a plague...? Okay, fine, it's death. Death followed by the butchering of the body parts, followed by burning in hell for all eternity, followed by the unceremonious digging up of the butchered body parts, followed by the consumption of the rotting flesh by a cannibal. Who happens to have a plague. That's what sociology is.

You'd think that a take home exam would be easier. Well, at least I thought that a take home exam would be easier. But in reality, it's not. In reality it's death followed by the butchering of the body parts, followed by burning in hell for all eternity, followed by the unceremonious digging up of the butchered body parts, followed by the consumption of the rotting flesh by a cannibal who happens to have a plague.

I'd rather have a normal exam, I think. Just cos you do it, and then it's over. You can't get up from doing a normal exam and go "I think I'll go check my facebook now, and come back and finish this later". You can't get up from a normal exam and go type up a blog entry just cos you can't be fucked putting in the effort just at the moment. Hell, you don't have to use full referencing in a normal exam. My take home exam questions came out on friday, and they're due on wednesday. As of now, I've written two incomplete piece of shit introductions for two separate questions, and have NO idea what I'm talking about. So now all I have to do is finish the two essays I started, write two more, and then I'm done. Joy. Granted, they don't have to be too long [600-900 words each], but the questions are all horrible. For example, the one I was trying to do just before I decided I didn't want to think about it any more was: "Race, Ethnicity and nation are often understood as social and political constructs whose membership and meaning are shifting and contested. Critically discuss this claim with reference to contemporary Australian identity". I swear to god my brain shut off as soon as I saw the word 'political' thrown in there ==" *bashes head against keyboard* Not to mention that half the questions want you to relate things to contemporary Australian society. GAH >_<""""""""

I should probably go now... I've had my mini rant. If I pass this exam I'm going to be ridiculously proud of myself.

Curtain Call..? And other things.

First thing's first. Okay, so I know that practically no one gives a shit about the wonder that is Wicked, but I just have one thing to say. I got an email [cos i signed up for the updatey thing on the website] that said that Wicked is leaving Regent theatre, its place of origin, in August. And it made me sad :( cos i realized that someday the original cast is going to move on, there're going to be new people who're never going to live up to the originals in my mind, and eventually the showing of the musical of musicals is going cease altogether [at least for a while], leaving the poor, unwickedenlightened people to wonder what schwartz crossed with macguire would have produced. okay, so the obsession might be a little... obsessive. but i swear to god that every time i see that poster near central, a part of me dies T_T partially cos i love the music and the costumes and the story, and partially cos i wish so much i could sing like that but i can't. stupid dumbass vocal chords that can't do shit >_>

anyways.

i haven't updated this blog in about half a year. sorry, bloggy. i still love you.

I'm killing time until I go to suess... speaking of which, I saw guyiwishiwasolderforman [well, one of them..] at fisher earlier today in my peripheral vision, and i think he saw me too. i was considering doing an ubersuave "breeze by, look back over my shoulder and smile charmingly" maneuver, until i remembered that my lopsided gash of a mouth is incapable of producing a charming smile of any sort, and that i couldn't possibly be ubersuaeve, as i fail at being anything except retarded, and chances are that i'd trip over my own feet as i turned my head. so i just kept walking. how cool am i? ( ' . ' )v

I can't wait for vacation, i swear to god. i can't wait until the day that i wake up in the morning, think "shit, what've i got to do today?" and then realize that there's actually nothing to be done except sleep, make money or go out and have fun. oh, sweet anticipation.

i think we should go on a group trip somewhere... maybe not these holidays, since i know that amanda's pretty much booked out, and she's the only one who can drive [legally], but we should go on a road trip someday. maybe at the end of the year..? hopefully i'll have my license by then... no need to look so concerned. i'm a decent driver, thank you very much. I've never backed into anything, driven into anything, run the car over the curb, hit a pedestrian, flattened a stray dog or crinkled the hood on a telegraph pole. whenever the topic of me being a driver for a roadtrip comes up, there's always at least one person who expresses their... well, their value for life. i'm a good driver, dammit! just cos i fail at all other aspects of life... the injustice. *hmph* lol.

one hour and eight minutes until my thing starts... =.=" i think i'll stop typing now, before i go into commentary mode and start telling you things like "the girl three computers across from me is wearing earphones. they look like cheap earphones..." or "i never noticed how colorful the tables are at scitech" or "i really really want a chocolate donut right now". i guess i should go study spanish... T_T a mi me no le gusta espanol hoy. or ever, actually. maybe if i study it i'll like it better... meh.

anyways, much love <3